It Is Not Always Easy but Sometimes Necessary to Know How to Handle a Bad Boss
Ineffective and toxic bosses come in all shapes and sizes. They can be incompetent, micromanaging, quick to anger, unrealistically demanding, belittling — you name it. But whatever their particular shortcoming as a boss, they create employee frustration, stress, and thoughts of leaving.
Bottom line?
Bad bosses wreak havoc on their team’s physical and emotional health, career aspirations, and level of employee engagement. Unfortunately, recent surveys by Paychex, Gallup, Indeed, and SHRM found that:
- 20% of employees and 54% of managers think their relationships have worsened since the start of the pandemic.
- One-third of employees communicate less with their manager.
- One in two employees has left a job to get away from a toxic manager.
- Over 80% of employees believe poorly trained people managers create unnecessary work and stress.
How to Handle a Bad Boss
Based upon decades of data from both new manager training and action learning leadership development programs, we know that reacting badly, complaining, or being complacent does not work. If you want to stay at the company, here are steps you can take to better handle a bad boss before you walk out the door. You need to ask yourself:
- Are You Reading The Situation Correctly?
Context and perspective matters. Find a third party or a trusted peer to get their objective assessment of the situation — both your behavior and your boss’ behavior. It’s important to gain some perspective and make sure you are not being too sensitive, too defensive, or overreacting.
If there’s agreement that your “read” of your boss is accurate, then it’s time to address the problem directly. - What Role Are You Playing in Making Things Worse?
You need to know if your behavior is adding fuel to the fire. Reflect upon the negative interactions and ask yourself if there are steps you can take to lessen the stress level.
— Are you meeting performance and behavioral expectations?
— Do others have similar problems?
— Can you rein in your emotions so that you don’t match angry word for angry word?
— Are you pointing fingers, making excuses, or shirking responsibility?
— Are you adapting your style to your boss’ style? - Can You and Your Boss Reconcile?
Set up a face-to-face meeting at which you acknowledge that you are not always working effectively together. Be specific in describing situations where you have clashed. Share how that makes you feel and outline the specific behavior changes that you are working on to help improve the situation.
Then ask for their thoughts on how you can work more constructively together and try to create a concrete plan to move forward in a more productive manner. - Is It Time to Confer with HR?
Let’s say your boss is not cooperative and there is no improvement. Perhaps it’s time to talk with someone in HR. Talk about what you have tried to do already and what you need to change in order to stay and be engaged.
Bad managers tend to lack emotional intelligence, and HR can play an important role in increasing self-awareness. - Is It Time to Move On?
If after all these well-intentioned steps the situation has not improved, think seriously about leaving. The strain on your mental and physical health and the threat to your career is not worth sticking it out.
The Bottom Line
There may be no relationship in the workplace more important or more powerful than the one between managers and their direct reports. Bad bosses can be found in almost every company. Try your best to mitigate the situation.
To learn more about how to handle a bad boss, download Are 2 in 5 Bosses Really Bad Managers?
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